You (or someone you know) might find my books helpful
Awakening: Inspirations & Motivations in Living Color is the first volume of the posts that combine my photographs with thoughts to inspire and motivate you as you begin your day on two categories. The first, People, focuses on the relationships we have that are usually the why of our motivation to grow. The Purpose and Process category, on the other hand, channels reflection on what our purpose is and what goals and habits we may need to propel us in living in alignment with that purpose.
enCharge: Transform Your Life From Within Through Your Life Success Factors was released in 2020. Energy takes the path of least resistance, so it must be channeled to make the most of it. Similarly, by identifying your life success factors, you can identify, seize and create opportunities that will lead to a more fulfilling life.
Proceeds from both books benefit the enCharge Purpose in Action Scholarship at the University of Wisconsin Law school. I founded the scholarship to assist law students with a demonstrated record of pursuing their purpose and whose purpose will be furthered by a legal education at the finest legal institution I know (and which is also my alma mater, so I might be biased). If you’d like to contribute to the scholarship fund, please contact me.
Bite sized thoughts
Sometimes we need a quick breath to slow down and think. The Instagram feed below features my own photos with a brief thought (and sometimes quotes from others) along with some comments that might give you something to think about. You can also check out the short SIP of the Day series on a separate page.
SIP of the Day #79 – Leaves and ideas
If you ask almost any kid what or who they would like to dress up as, they usually have lots of ideas and excitement about the costume. There’s a sense of wonder. Of possibility. Of dreaming. Of playing.
As we get older, there’s more pressure to be something “realistic” rather than our favorite cartoon character or hero. Our costumes tend to be less exciting and we literally wear more masks. We become afraid of sharing who we want to be. The concept of “make believe” that we embraced as kids slowly slips away.
Think about that term. Make. Believe. There have been numerous studies indicating that visualizing positive outcomes and achieving goals increases (but doesn’t guarantee) the rate of success in the desired areas. Visualizing is making the visual picture and believing it could come true. Perhaps not unlike how as kids we tried on clothing of adults we admired, smiling in the mirror even though the costume didn’t fit. Because we believed that it would fit someday, at which point it would no longer be a costume.
Visualizing – truly visualizing, in detail – who you want to be and how you want to show up every day as your best and most authentic self will make it easier to become that person. You can try on that identity each time you visualize it. And as it becomes more familiar and tangible, you can begin to share it bit by bit on your journey to becoming that best future self. To be the superhero that lies within you. And to be an example for those looking up to you.
What does your future self look like? What does that identity feel like? How can you try on that costume today?
#authenticity #identity #futureself #makebelieve #play
No matter my age, when I see a big pile of autumn leaves, I just want to dive in. It brings back so many memories of the fun my brothers and I had as kids doing just that, sometimes throwing on a cat to see what happened. It was play, it was joy, it was freeing. We weren’t thinking of homework, how cold it was or pretty much anything except that we had better rake the pile back into shape when we were done lest we get in trouble.
Those are the types of circumstances that prime the brain for making connections among different concepts, coming up with solutions and innovating. The body is moving, the brain is relaxed, and ideas and concepts can collide in ways that don’t happen when we are tied to our desks trying to force innovation and problem solving into being. And simply being outside refreshes the mind and engages it in a different way.
You may not have piles of leaves to jump into where you live, but perhaps today is the day to give in to a short, fun break outdoors for your brain and body to see what ideas you come up with that help you back in the office.
#play #innovation #thinkdifferent #seekjoy #brainwork
I attended a French horn and piano performance yesterday. It was a lovely way to end the weekend. Not just because of the music (which was good), but because of how the two musicians approached their work. Or, more precisely, because they did NOT approach it as work, in the traditional sense of jobs and the potential for drudgery.
There was excited anticipation indicated by raised eyebrows and sparkling eyes. Smiles in between pieces. Even hugs between the two at the end. It was just full of energy and joy.
I will be honest, I don’t often see that energy in my day-to-day work, whether from myself or others. But when I do catch someone who loves what they are doing, it makes me pause and wonder what I could do to find that type of joy.
For me, it always comes to contribution to others. When I focus on myself, I shut others out and I shut myself off from the gifts they have to share with me. But when I focus on my colleagues, my clients and my team members, I see and experience more of that energy and joy.
Where do you see others engaging in their work in a joyful manner? What excites you about your own work? What makes it fulfilling and energizing? What could you do to find more of that energy and focus?
#joy #fulfillment #goodwork
SIP of the Day #78 – No matter how much we have lost, we can contribute, which raises the wellbeing of everyone.
I enjoy watching frogs lounge in our pool, as well as our dogs attempting to figure out whether they should be hunting the frog or its shadow. When still, both the frog and its shadow are clear. But as soon as the frog takes off, ripples appear in the water and obscure the now-morphing, moving shadow.
There are lots of shadows in our lives, usually relating to things we fear, things we regret, or emotional baggage that weighs us down. Like real shadows, they are only a reflection of who we are or have been, not who we can be. If we want to be someone different and better, we must make the ripples or waves in the waters of life by taking action and moving towards something new and/or away from the past. That’s how we move closer to our goals and continue to grow, not treading water and dwelling on things we cannot change.
What waves will you make today?
#change #action #clarity
I was in Boston recently and couldn’t help myself from ducking into their massive public library’s reading room. It is, of course, quiet, but also beautiful and full of intricate details to catch the eye. It’s not particularly luxurious. The chairs, as you can see, are wooden and unpadded. Because this is a place to think and learn, not to fall asleep. A place that inspires imagination rather than complacency.
We may not have the skills to create a physical space like this, but we can crate space spaces wherever we are to encourage those around us to stop, think, dream and aspire to greater things. This could be as simple as quiet places with a door for focused work, afternoons where no meetings or calls are scheduled, digital free time, encouraging learning, or even taking a call while walking to fuel the senses and refresh the body.
What small space for aspiration can you create today for yourself or others?
#aspire #space #timeout #reading
I attended undergrad on a music scholarship, despite being a business major. I was interested in international business and had been studying French and decided to pursue a year abroad in France. Until I learned my scholarship wouldn`t apply and might not be waiting for me when I returned, either. That fear froze me from even looking into other options to control my college costs. I still regret not having taken the leap.
Hindsight is nice, but what we need in the moment when chasing our goals is the courage to move beyond our fears. To take the first scary step. Sure, things may not work out as we`d like, but we usually wind up just wishing things had turned out differently, rather than regretting having tried something new and exciting. We grow from exercising courage.
Regret is a nastier thing and often leads to stagnation. Once we don`t take the leap, we always wonder what might have happened. What if it HAD turned out as we wanted? What if our fears were (as is usually the case) larger in our minds than in reality?
Fears are usually short-lived, but regrets are forever.
What fear can you overcome today to take a leap into a new opportunity for growth and avoid the regret of what might have been?
#fear #regret #opportunity
Growing up on a farm, we had ancient-looking steel hooks with a handle to more easily pick up bales of hay. Simple, but effective. The device in this picture is the modern version, but look closely and you`ll see it`s the same medieval hooks, harnessed together and enabled by hydraulics. Same tool, but made easier and more effective. (No doubt the mutt mini-farm dog also helps lighten the load.)
You know what you want. You have the basic tools to make progress towards your goals. And yet sometimes you may not actually take those needed steps. One reason may be that starting is hard. Willpower only lasts so long or can do so much. There`s no progress without action.
One of the quickest ways to make progress is to make starting easier. To automate your tools (in this case, your habits) to reduce reliance on willpower.
Lay out the workout clothes the night before so it`s easier to put them in in the morning and go to the gym.
Stock the fridge and pantry with healthy food so they`re easier to grab.
Block out time on your calendar for YOUR priorities before the time is consumed with the priorities of others.
You get the idea. None of these are new, yet we forget about them and wonder why our progress isn`t what we would like it to be.
What`s a habit or routine you can make easier?
#tools #habits #automate #progress
Last weekend, I had the opportunity to ride on a private club car that ran from 1912-1984 on the same route I take now, albeit on a much-less luxurious and private train car. It was a fun scene, with train enthusiasts dressing up for the occasion and serving as conductors/docents, kids staring wide-eyed and squealing in delight, everyone snapping pictures, and overall excitement at seeing something out of the ordinary.
My Dad was a train buff; I’m not. But I like to travel, love history and enjoy the idea of walking in the steps of others. And I’m curious. So I jumped at the chance when I read about this in the local newspaper.
Even (or perhaps especially) when we’re focused on achieving our goals, we may shut out opportunities to learn and explore. Crazily enough, taking time away from the slog to experience something totally different improves our performance when we return. It provides our brain with new ideas, new connections and creates new ways forward where we might be stuck. It can also allow us to simultaneously rest and recharge.
What’s a small way you can find to explore your curiosity? To play? To experience awe? To begin to wonder as you wander?
#curiosity #antiboredom #refresh #recharge #play
We are assailed by all the things we “should” do. The shoulds are usually driven by external forces and societal pressures. Who we think we need to be, but not necessarily who we want to be. When we organize our lives based on the shoulds, we are generally responding to extrinsic rather than intrinsic rewards. Volumes of research have shown, though, that it is intrinsic rewards that truly reward and motivate us and lead to greater satisfaction in life.
I know I should, obviously, go to work. I probably also should exercise more. I should foster deeper connections. And I should and should and should. And these are all important. So what to do?
Pivot from what you “should” do today to who you “would” like to be and what you “will” do today to get there. For example, I would like to help develop my team, so I will be intentional, engaged and productive in these specific ways today. I would like to live a longer, healthier life to pursue my goals of exploring the world, so I will make time for yoga or a run today. I would like to have deep, fulfilling connections, so I will reach out to at least two friends today to let them know I’m thinking about then. You get the idea.
By focusing on the future and who we want to be, we can take control of our days to convert should into something meaningful, motivating and satisfying.
Who would you like to be and what will you do today to move in that direction?
#should #would #will #mindset #futurefocus
SIP of the Day #77 – Make a difference by moving out of your head to action to help others
Rules are designed to encourage certain types of behavior and discourage others. Many are helpful – like ensuring we all know to stop at a stop sign and thus prevent accidents and injury. Many others are simply annoying, seeming to have no legitimate purpose. (I’m sure you can come up with a lot of examples of these.)
Many “rules,” though, are just social constructs to create uniformity and conformity within groups. They’re not required by law or even company policy. They’re merely the price to pay for admission to a group so that we feel we belong and as humans, we’re wired to connection and belonging.
These are the types of rules that can hold back growth if we’re not paying attention. Do we want to belong so much to a certain group that we’re willing to refrain from being who we are or pursuing our goals? This is not junior high where we want the cool kids to like us. No, this is life as an adult and we have agency if we choose to exercise it.
If we want to live a life in keeping with our unique purpose, we must examine the rules that frustrate that purpose and, instead, create new rules for how we operate. They may be as simple as, “I must show up as my authentic self.” But when we tie them to our purpose, they become powerful forces for driving us to the people and opportunities that will help us grow.
Have you traded in your purpose for inclusion in a group? Are you following rules or making them? What new rules will help you live in alignment with your purpose?
#purpose #rules #authenticity
I spent this past weekend with friends whose ages covered over 30 years. Yet we were all laughing as if we were kids. Joy. Pure joy. Yes, we talked about things in our lives that are not themselves joyous, but the sharing and support was.
I need to do a much better job of making this time of rest and recharging with friends a priority. And, for a limited time, to put my camera down and just immerse myself in the present, rather than attempting to capture it for the future. Because then I miss the moments. Photos can remind us of events, but they don`t carry the in-the-moment emotion that we missed while pressing the shutter button.
Focus and attention are priceless gifts in these busy days that we can give to each other at no cost. And it`s a gift that benefits everyone. But we must show up and be present. Put the devices away. Turn off notifications. Switch the TV off. Turn up the focus. And see the magic that unfolds.
#presence #friendship #rest #joy #support
I wasn`t joking in the post the other day when I said I adore hummingbirds. Some evidence here as I was stalking a few here.
SIP of the Day #76 – Even your hero is a work in progress. Identify the best characteristics of a variety of people that you want to emulate.
I adore hummingbirds. But the more I watch them, the more I realize they’re not as sweet as I imagine. Like most of us, they struggle to defend the turf that they’ve managed to build or claim for themselves. I see them fighting with other hummingbirds at the feeder (which the camera can’t seem to catch), not unlike how we try to stake out an area as “ours” in our work, family or community. They’re great, but perfectly imperfect to an outsider.
When you think of someone you really admire in life, recognize that the greatness you see in them is both because they’ve overcome challenges to be who they are, AND that they still have weaknesses. Then reflect on all that you have overcome and how you’ve grown and recognize that you also have greatness within you.
#perspective #greatness #weakness #growth
It’s not news that social media provides the opportunity to define who we want the world to see, even when that may not be reflective of our day-to-day reality. We’re humans, so we tend to show the positives and keep the less glamorous or painful events of our lives hidden. But remember that this is also what the people you follow also do. There are amazing people who have extraordinary talent in a particular area, but no one has talent or success in all areas. Perhaps they’re great at whatever their job is, but they may struggle as a parent or with working out or with myriad other things we mere mortals struggle with. Because they are also mere mortals.
So this is just a public service reminder to not let your scrolling bring your energy down because your life doesn’t seem as great as those of your friends or heroes. Instead, the next time you are about to start scrolling, take a moment to reflect on what you’re grateful for. Realize that your life is full of blessings, some small, some larger. Then set the intent to be happy for the success of others once you’re grounded in who you are. Or scroll an album of your own favorite photos. Either way, you’ll come away with a more positive and balanced view before you get back to work and life.
#control #optimism #perspective #gratitude
The plant in the center of this photo is poison ivy. If you’ve never encountered it before, I’d encourage you to keep that distance because, as its name indicates, such a meeting would be unpleasant. Yet it looks great – even healthier and glossier than the perennial next to it that I have been carefully tending to for years.
I can blame the poison ivy for being “bad” or become angry when I get to close to it and regret having done so. But it doesn’t care. It’s not going to apologize because it is doing what IT needs to do to grow and thrive. It would just be a waste of my time and energy and cause me more stress.
Don’t we do that with other toxins in our life, though? We get angry at the guy who cuts us off on the highway. Irritated by the unhealthy relationships we stay in. Annoyed by the colleague who takes credit for our work. Hurt by lies told about us. You could add many other things to this list. But with all of them, the other party has probably already moved on. They may not have realized what they have done. But it’s unlikely that they’ll figure out that perhaps they should apologize.
I’d suggest the following to take back control of your energy and growth journey:
• Stop and see the toxin.
• Label it and your emotions.
• Determine whether there is a way to steer clear of the toxin in the future.
• Choose how you want to move on, rather than staying in place waiting for the apology that will never come.
#moveon #toxins #label #takecontrol
SIP of the Day #75 – Experts and friends help you see things you don`t realize are holding you back.